چه جالب
جک انگلیسی
- شروع کننده موضوع Schneider
- تاریخ شروع
A lady want to see a tarot reader woman who’ll predict her future.
- Leady , I’m sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future .
- Don’t tell me things that I already know , tell me if there would be an investigation.
یه خانومی میره پیش زن پیش گو تا از آینده اش مطلع بشه.
- دخترم متاسفم که این خبرو بهت میدم ، شوهرت به زودی میمیره!!
- خانومه میگه : اینو خودم هم میدونستم ، فقط بگو گیر میفتم یا نه!!
A man was praying to god.
مردی داشت دعا میکرد...He said, "God?"
او گفت: خدایا
God responded, "Yes?"
خدا جواب داد: بله
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
و مرد پرسید: میتونم یه سوال بپرسم؟
"Go right ahead", God said.
خدا جواب داد: بفرما
"God, what is a million years to you?"
خدایا،یک میلیون سال در نظرت چقدره؟
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
خدا گفت: یک میلیون سال در نظر من یک ثانیه هست.
The man wondered.
مرد شگفت زده شد.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
بعد پرسید: خدایا یک میلیون دلار در نظرت چقدره؟
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
خدا جواب داد: یک میلیون دلار به نظرم یک پنی* است.
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
پس مرد گفت: خدایا ، آیا میتونم یک پنی داشته باشم؟
And God cheerfully said,
و خدا با خوشروئی گفت،
"Sure!...... .just wait a second."حتما!.....فقط یک ثانیه صبر کن.
مردی داشت دعا میکرد...He said, "God?"
او گفت: خدایا
God responded, "Yes?"
خدا جواب داد: بله
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
و مرد پرسید: میتونم یه سوال بپرسم؟
"Go right ahead", God said.
خدا جواب داد: بفرما
"God, what is a million years to you?"
خدایا،یک میلیون سال در نظرت چقدره؟
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
خدا گفت: یک میلیون سال در نظر من یک ثانیه هست.
The man wondered.
مرد شگفت زده شد.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
بعد پرسید: خدایا یک میلیون دلار در نظرت چقدره؟
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
خدا جواب داد: یک میلیون دلار به نظرم یک پنی* است.
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
پس مرد گفت: خدایا ، آیا میتونم یک پنی داشته باشم؟
And God cheerfully said,
و خدا با خوشروئی گفت،
"Sure!...... .just wait a second."حتما!.....فقط یک ثانیه صبر کن.
One day Elham that was studying in the first grade, didn't go to school because of laziness . Her mother wasn't at home. She called her school
Hello...Are you the principal, madam Hosini -
Yes I'm-
I wanted to announce you Elham Asadi is ill, is resting at home and can not come to school today-
Oh sorry... I hope she gets better. May I know who are you-
Yes, I am my mother -
Hello...Are you the principal, madam Hosini -
Yes I'm-
I wanted to announce you Elham Asadi is ill, is resting at home and can not come to school today-
Oh sorry... I hope she gets better. May I know who are you-
Yes, I am my mother -
Mail
A man was in his yard mowing the grass when his blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid new computer keeps saying, "You've Got Mail
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter
The old man says, "I'm a multilillionaire, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell
?The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying
The old man says, "I can't remember where I live
The old man says, "I'm a multilillionaire, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell
?The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying
The old man says, "I can't remember where I live
ninas20
عضو جدید
(husband & Wife )
husband: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
husband: No I will also live with your sister
( زن و شوهر )
شوهر : بعد از این که من بمیرم آیا ازدواج می کنی؟
زن : نه من با خواهرم زندگی می کنم...
زن : بعد از مرگ من تو ازدواج خواهی کرد؟
شوهر : نه من هم با خواهرت زندگی می کنم.
husband: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
husband: No I will also live with your sister
( زن و شوهر )
شوهر : بعد از این که من بمیرم آیا ازدواج می کنی؟
زن : نه من با خواهرم زندگی می کنم...
زن : بعد از مرگ من تو ازدواج خواهی کرد؟
شوهر : نه من هم با خواهرت زندگی می کنم.
Future plans of
childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan:
I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b
a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
شغل آینده بچه
ها:
معلم از دانش آموزان پرسید که می خواهید در آینده چکاره شوید؟
ادنان
: من می خواهم خلبان بشم.
واکیل : من میخوام دکتر بشم.
بینا : من می
خوام مادری خوب بشم.
شریک : من میخوام به بینا کمک کنم.
childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan:
I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b
a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
شغل آینده بچه
ها:
معلم از دانش آموزان پرسید که می خواهید در آینده چکاره شوید؟
ادنان
: من می خواهم خلبان بشم.
واکیل : من میخوام دکتر بشم.
بینا : من می
خوام مادری خوب بشم.
شریک : من میخوام به بینا کمک کنم.
"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?"
"Because our English teacher died yesterday
True love is like a pillow
You can hug it when you're in trouble
You can cry on it when you're in pain
You can embrace it when you're happy
So when you need true love
Buy a pillow
You can hug it when you're in trouble
You can cry on it when you're in pain
You can embrace it when you're happy
So when you need true love
Buy a pillow
okeyyyyyyTrue love is like a pillow
You can hug it when you're in trouble
You can cry on it when you're in pain
You can embrace it when you're happy
So when you need true love
Buy a pillow
i have a pilow and i love it very much :ی
(husband
& Wife )
husband: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I
will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
husband:
No I will also live with your sister
( زن و شوهر )شوهر : بعد از
این که من بمیرم آیا ازدواج می کنی؟
زن : نه من با خواهرم زندگی می
کنم...
زن : بعد از مرگ من تو ازدواج خواهی کرد؟
شوهر : نه من هم با
خواهرت , زندگی می کنم.
Future plans of
childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan:
I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b
a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
شغل آینده بچه
ها:
معلم از دانش آموزان پرسید که می خواهید در آینده چکاره شوید؟
ادنان
: من می خواهم خلبان بشم.
واکیل : من میخوام دکتر بشم.
بینا : من می
خوام مادری خوب بشم.
شریک : من میخوام به بینا کمک کنم.
childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan:
I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b
a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
شغل آینده بچه
ها:
معلم از دانش آموزان پرسید که می خواهید در آینده چکاره شوید؟
ادنان
: من می خواهم خلبان بشم.
واکیل : من میخوام دکتر بشم.
بینا : من می
خوام مادری خوب بشم.
شریک : من میخوام به بینا کمک کنم.
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
An
Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The
Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your
back!
سوال هواپیما از موشک :
یه هواپیما از یه موشک می پرسه که :
چطوری
می تونی این قدر سریع پرواز کنی؟
موشک جواب میده : اگه تو , پشتت آتیش
میزاشتن میدونستی که چقدر درد داره.
An
Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The
Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your
back!
سوال هواپیما از موشک :
یه هواپیما از یه موشک می پرسه که :
چطوری
می تونی این قدر سریع پرواز کنی؟
موشک جواب میده : اگه تو , پشتت آتیش
میزاشتن میدونستی که چقدر درد داره.
Hi i am marrying next
week ( Funny sms )
Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a
small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring
any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.
سلام من هفته ی دیگه
ازدواج می کنم!!! ( اس ام اس خنده دار )
سلام من هفته ی دیگه ازدواج می
کنم.
یه جشن کوچیک هم میگیریم.
تعداد کمی هم دعوت کردم.
با خودت
هدیه ای نیاری!!!
فقط یه نفر رو بیار باهاش ازدواج کنم.
week ( Funny sms )
Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a
small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring
any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.
سلام من هفته ی دیگه
ازدواج می کنم!!! ( اس ام اس خنده دار )
سلام من هفته ی دیگه ازدواج می
کنم.
یه جشن کوچیک هم میگیریم.
تعداد کمی هم دعوت کردم.
با خودت
هدیه ای نیاری!!!
فقط یه نفر رو بیار باهاش ازدواج کنم.
Mr.Bean Science
.
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to
electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR
for 5 hrs
جک مستربین
از زمانی که برق رفت من تو آسانسور 3 ساعت
گیرکردم.
.
مستربین:
من هم همین طور!!
من 5 ساعت رو پله برقی
گیرکردم.
.
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to
electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR
for 5 hrs
جک مستربین
از زمانی که برق رفت من تو آسانسور 3 ساعت
گیرکردم.
.
مستربین:
من هم همین طور!!
من 5 ساعت رو پله برقی
گیرکردم.
How man has been created?
How man has been created?
How man has been created?
I found this joke in Farsi, translated it to English
A little girl asked her mother:" mommy, how humans have been created
First, God created Adam and Eve, then Eve brought a child and thus humans were created" told her mother.
A few days later the little girl asked her father the same question.
Her father replied:" Human was earlier a monkey but because of evolution it changed into human."
The little girl went to her mother confused and asked :" mommy, you told me, God created us but my father says, man had been a monkey earlier and then changed into human
Her mother smiled and said:" My dear, I said about my family and your father said about his own
A little girl asked her mother:" mommy, how humans have been created
First, God created Adam and Eve, then Eve brought a child and thus humans were created" told her mother.
A few days later the little girl asked her father the same question.
Her father replied:" Human was earlier a monkey but because of evolution it changed into human."
The little girl went to her mother confused and asked :" mommy, you told me, God created us but my father says, man had been a monkey earlier and then changed into human
Her mother smiled and said:" My dear, I said about my family and your father said about his own
آخرین ویرایش:
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...
A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...
A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
Yeah so so
AiSaN_SpOrT
عضو جدید
What's a waste of energy?
telling a hair-raising story to a bald man
telling a hair-raising story to a bald man
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then
smiled “It really works!”
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